You Put Your Weed In It
You Put Your Weed In It
Customer #1…..David Spade
Customer #2…..Ellen Cleghorne
Customer #3…..Chris Farley
[ open on interior, Out of Africa primitive art store ]
Shopkeeper: Hey, may I help you?
Customer #1: Yeah. This is kind of neat, what is it?
Shopkeeper: Oh, that’s from New Guinea. It’s a ceremonial spirit box.
Customer #1: Wow, that’s cool. What do you do with it?
Shopkeeper: You put your weed in there!
Customer #1: Oh. Thank you.
Customer #2: This is neat, is this from South America?
Shopkeeper: You bet. That’s a Yanamano ancestral rattle from Brazil. It’s carved from deer bone, they only make one every seven years, it’s really rare.
Customer #2: What do they use it for?
Shopkeeper: You put your weed in here!
Customer #2: O-kay..
Shopkeeper: No problem.
Customer #3: Where’s this from?
Shopkeeper: Oh, it’s from Borneo. It’s for a Zuluesque puberty ritual. It symbolizes the journey into adulthood.
Customer #3: Really?
Shopkeeper: Yeah. And you can put your weed in here!
Customer #3: So, this has actually been used in puberty rituals?
Shopkeeper: Yeah. And you put your weed in there!
Customer #3: Thanks.
Shopkeeper: No problem.
Customer #1: [ holding artifact ] Hey, uh, excuse me..
Shopkeeper: Oh, this is great! You put your weed in here! Awesome.
Customer #1: Actually, I’m looking for a gift for my mother. Is there anything in here that doesn’t involve weed?
Shopkeeper: [ thinks ] Well.. you can give her this. [ pulls out drum ] It’s a Senegalese talking drum. Only the Head Shayman of Senegal is allowed to use it.
Customer #1: Wow.. that’d be great, she might like something like that.
Shopkeeper: You know what I’d do if I bought it? I’d put my weed in there! Right in there. [ puts it down ] Oh, wait.. I’ve got something else.
Customer #1: Ah.
Shopkeeper: This is a Javanese rain stick. Yeah, it’s for a fertility dance. You can put it in your apartment and hang a plant from it.
Customer #1: That’d be cool, she has a lot of plants. That might be good.
Shopkeeper: You sure she doesn’t like weed?
Customer #1: Yeah, I’m pretty sure.
Shopkeeper: It’s too bad, because it goes right in here. This part unscrews, it’s really great!
[ Cop enters the shop ]
Cop: Hey. Is that your Volkswagon van parked out front?
Shopkeeper: Look, man, there’s nothing in here that you could put weed into!
Cop: I just wanted to tell you that you left your lights on. I turned them off for you.
Shopkeeper: Okay, maybe there’s some things in here that you put tobacco into, or incense or spices into, but definitely not weed!
Cop: What the hell are you talking about?
Shopkeeper: Okay. I guess, if this opened up, you could put weed in it, but I can’t get it open. [ Cop opens it ] It’s not like there’s weed in there!
Cop: [ holds up the weed ] What is this?
Cop: You’re under arrest!
Shopkeeper: Alright, but don’t bother checking the store! Because there’s no weed in that, and there’s no weed in that, and there’s no weed in that!
Cop: Well, you can talk about it down at the station.
Shopkeeper: Don’t bother checking the back of the store – no wee-ee-eed!
[ Cop pulls Shopkeeper outside ]
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Author: Don Roy King
Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway’s Romeo & Juliet in 2013. – LinkedIn View all posts by Don Roy KingYou Put Your Weed In It You Put Your Weed In It Shopkeeper…..Rob Schneider Customer #1…..David Spade Customer #2…..Ellen Cleghorne Customer #3…..Chris Farley Cop…..Charles Barkley [
Rob Schneider Reveals The Origins Of The ‘You Put Your Weed In There’ Guy
Love him or hate him, there’s not denying that comedian Rob Schneider was skilled at developing ‘Saturday Night Live’ characters with catchy one liners—like “making copies” and, of course, “you put your weed in there.”
That last one was the catchphrase of the unnamed hippie working at the fictional Out of Africa store for “primitive art” (and that wouldn’t be the only culturally insensitive moment in his acting career). In every sketch at the shop, Schneider would give customers a lengthy description of each collectable’s origin. Then shoppers asked what to do with it, he’d inevitably say, “You put your weed in there.” Repeatedly. To every customer in the store.
It sounds like the kind of thing you’d think up while trying to fill time during an SNL episode. But Schneider says the character was inspired by his brother and a day-trip with a former girlfriend in Rochester, New York, where he spotted an African antiquities store.
“Everything was drums, and little shells and little drawers,” he told GQ recently. “Everything in there is like something where my brother would hide his weed. So I went up to the lady [working at the store], and took a drum and I was like, ‘Where’s the weed go in here? Huh? You know, right?’ And she just looked at me like I was a crazy person.”
The SNL alumnus also told GQ about the origins of Deuce Bigalow, Ula from ’50 First Dates’ and Townie from ‘The Warboy’—a.k.a. the guy who keeps saying “You can do it,” which ruined Schneider’s life.
“Two weeks before the movie opened, [Adam Sandler] called me. and he said, ‘Robbie, in two weeks, you’re not going to be able to go anywhere without hearing ‘you can do it!’ It’s been 20 years now, still happening.”Love him or hate him, there's not denying that comedian Rob Schneider was skilled at developing 'Saturday Night Live' characters with catchy one liners – like "making copies" and, of course, "you put your weed in there." ]]>